Totally Pokemon Shippings
by Dionysus S
Summary: Drabbles for the pairings on the Incomplete Shipper's List. From #51Shipping to ZyandaShipping, and all those caught in-between; contains Yaoi, yuri, crack, rare, canon, common, PokexHuman, PokexPoke and everything else. Request shippings taken.
1. RecolorShipping: Hoenn Hat x Sinnoh Hat

**Shipping: **RecolorShipping–Ash's Hoenn hat x Ash's Sinnoh hat

**A/N: **There's no real need for an A/N, but anyway, long story short: Me and my friend were looking at the Incomplete Shipper's list and discussed/LOL'd/cried over some of the pairings we saw. So, me being unoriginal, decided to make a fanfic featuring some of the Shippings on the list. They're going to be drabble sized (exactly 100-500), no more, no less. Enjoy, don't enjoy, I don't care, just review. Hehe. This is mainly for lulz, though some _may_ be serious/angsty/dramatic, etc.

* * *

Apparently the designers were getting lazy.

Hoenn Hat lay in front of the phone monitor, musing to himself. Oh, how he longed to lay on Ash's soft yet spike-ily painful black hair. How he longed to be molested by various monkey Pokemon; how he _longed_ to have that puffy, yellow electric mouse on him again.

Hoenn Hat growled to himself: damn Sinnoh Hat! If it wasn't for her and her better-than-green color, he would be the one on his trainer's head.

"I feel your pain, Hoenn Hat." Called Kanto Hat a few feet away, laying in a messy pile of Ash's clothes. "I was in five seasons–_five_ seasons. Then Ash decided to go up and replace me." It sighed and shook its...its body. "We had some good times, Ash and me..."

Hoenn Hat ignored the old fool because Hoenn Hat didn't give a shit. He was busy getting ready for his weekly talking over the phone.

As if on cue, the monitor flashed on and a mess of black and blue filled the screen.

"Hey bitch," Came a high-pitched voice from the other end. There sat Sinnoh Hat; chances were that she was at a Pokemon Center. "I see you're well. It's fun over here; in fact, just a few minutes ago, Ash tripped and I fell right under that chick Dawn's minidress. Pretty hot, I tell you."

Hoenn Hat began to visibly shake–it was just like Sinnoh Hat to rub in shit like that. Well, he had an exciting story to tell her too. "I want to break up with you."

"What? When were we even going out?"

"That's besides the point. I can't stand you putting me down on a daily basis."

"We only talk once a week."

"It hurts, and I sometimes feel like ending my life."

"Hell, do it, I don't care. All you have to do is jump inside a washing machine."

"We're finished."

Just when Sinnoh Hat was about to say something, a purple-haired boy came up to the screen and bitch-slapped her away. Just when Hoenn Hat was about to laugh at her, Mr. Mime waddled into the room and shoved him into a wash basket.

"Well, that sucks." Kanto Shoes mumbled to herself.

"Hm, but he _did_ want to end his life, remember?" Hoenn Gloves reminded.

"I'm going to miss their weekly rants, though..." Kanto Pajamas sighed.


	2. NobleShipping: Lance x Max

**Shipping: **NobleShipping–Lance x Max  
**Remember:** Lance is the Kanto Champion, Dragon Master and Pokemon G-Man. Max is May's sister. May: the coordinator. Yeah.

* * *

Just what the _hell_ was wrong with him?

The Dragon Master brought a hand to his face and shook his head. _C'mon Lance_, He thought to himself, staring down hard at the paperwork in front of him. _You have work to do. A **lot** of work. A lot of **hard** work._

"That's what he said." He suddenly let out, very out-of-character like.

...Yeah, just what _was_ wrong with him? Surely he, Lance, the Master of Dragons and Kanto League Champion, couldn't be crushing on a...little 8 year-old boy...

Right?

...That was just wrong...

Right?

Placing his pen onto the desk, Lance propped his chin up on the palm of his hand and drifted off into space. But the kid wasn't a kid anymore...the last time he saw him was a few years ago. Shouldn't he be around 12 now?

_No!_ He yelled in his head, frowning. _I'm not into little kids–I'm NOT Steven and I'm NOT Cynthia. I don't crush on little shota-boys or tiny loli-girls. That's just wrong. _

Lance lifted his pen up again and went straight for his paperwork. But his thoughts kept flying off to Max. Max in tight leather. Max licking a loli-pop. Max innocently picking up a piece of wood from the ground. Max snuggling close to him while they slept in the same, queen-sized bed...

...Hm.

The Dragon Master stood from his desk and telepathically called his Dragonite, telling him to get ready for a _long_ ride to Hoenn.


	3. GirlPowerShipping: Cynthia x Dawn

**Shipping: **GirlPowerShipping--Cynthia x Dawn (Game version)  
**Remember:** Shirona is Cynthia's Japanese name, and Hikari is Dawn's.

* * *

Some would say that she was lucky–and yeah, she would totally agree with them. Now how many other people (see that, people, not Pokemon), got to be in the beautiful, soft and incredibly lush arms of Shirona-sama? Not many, probably none, even Hikari could swear to that. She giggled quietly to herself as she snuggled against her, enjoying the feeling of the former Champion's warm breasts against her naked back.

"Hikari-chan?" Shirona murmured, her soft, melodious voice still laced with drowsiness. "Is...is something the matter?"

"O-oh, no!" The blue-haired Champion said back, cursing inwardly for waking the older woman up. "I...I was just thinking about how lucky I was."

She could almost feel Shirona grinning, "Oi...Hikari...you were? You should get some sleep, dear...you're going to have a busy day ahead of you." The blonde shifted a little and pulled the younger trainer closer to her, "Of course...In more ways than one..."

The comment made the girl blush. This was better than chocolates, and totally better than a teddy bear with a heart in it, or even a cake! Oh yeah, her birthday present? The gorgeous, elegant, wondrous Shirona-sama.


	4. CavalierShipping: Gary x Dawn

**Shipping: **CavalierShipping–Gary x Dawn

x x

The Pokemon Researcher leaned somewhat to the side in his chair as he took down a few notes. His eyes narrowed as he looked towards the information on his laptop, before he stared down at his scrawled notes. Funny...he could have sworn he'd put down 'Dustox' and not 'Dawn'.

_Gotta hand it to Ash, though, he sure knows how to pick 'em. _Gary snickered at the thought as he scribbled out the coordinator's name. She was cute, he'd give her that, bubbly, could have a bit of a temper, assertive, though...not too sure of herself...

But she had some strength.

"Ah, ah, ah. She's not my type, definitely not my type." He scolded himself out loud. "'Sides, I couldn't date a girl who'll be demanding me to recite a poem every ten minutes."


	5. CommanderShipping: Tabitha x Shelly

**Pairing: **CommanderShipping–Tabitha x Shelly  
**Remember**: Tabitha is the Commander in Team Magma, Shelly is the Commander in Team Aqua.  
**A/N:** Ho'snap! This turned out to be more than 500 words, well, sucks.

x x

Shelly scowled; Team Magma were a despicable bunch. And not only that, they were a persistent lot too. She watched as the grunts scurried around the main hall–apparently some new information regarding Groudon was soon to be released. No matter, though...their downfall would be coming soon enough, once her team got their hands on Kyogre...

The Aqua Commander couldn't keep herself from smiling just ever-so slightly. She'd received conformation not too long ago: cease her infiltration immediately and report back to headquarters as soon as she possibly could.

Kyogre's whereabouts has been discovered.

"Isabel!" Someone called, startling Shelly out of her thoughts. A man with lazy-looking eyes walked over to her.

Shelly let out a sigh of relief–it was only Tabitha. For moment there, she'd been thinking it was Maxie. Thank Arceus it wasn't. "Hey Commander." She let out breezily, quickly putting on a large smile. "I trust that you're well today?"

Tabitha smiled warmly at her, "Of course. It won't be long now 'til Groudon is found and our goal will finally be met." He chuckled, "It might have taken a while, but look's like it was worth it."

"Oh yeah, I totally agree." Out of every member of Team Magma...Commander Tabitha was the only one she could even remotely stand. Hm...maybe 'remotely' was too harsh a word; terms aside, Shelly had long since noted that it was a waste having him as part of Magma. He would've done so well on her own team...

"Hehe," He moved closer to her and grinned, "You know what? I think we should go out on a date–you know, to commemorate a job well done."

"It's a damn shame," Shelly started, cocking her head to the side in mock-annoyance, "That Groudon hasn't even been _caught_ yet. Maybe we should leave celebrating for another time."

For a second, for a small split second...Tabitha's grin faltered, but it happened so fast, Shelly doubted that it even happened. "Hm, I wanted to; 'overconfidence breeds carelessness' or something like that. But...I have a feeling that you won't be around for much longer."

"Wh-what?" Now it was Shelly who faltered–noticeably. "What do you mean?" _Damn it, don't tell me he has it figured out?! But I've been careful; I always make sure to receive my orders from the most secure location. But...how?_

"Don't know, exactly," He started in a nonchalant, staring upwards. "It's just a hunch–a feeling. So..."

She had to go, _now_. She couldn't be too suspicious, but still, if they found out that their enemy was hiding in their ranks...

"I'm sorry, but I have a mission to complete right now." _Nice one, Shelly. Why couldn't I even think of a more plausible excuse? Damn, now he's going to ask 'What mission would that be?'. Then he'll know I was lying; Archie is going to tan my hide for this. _

"Ah, I see. Then I shouldn't keep you waiting."

She bowed and started to dismiss herself.

"It's going to be a tough mission, infiltrating Team Aqua, hm? But it shouldn't be too hard for you, Isabel. I'm sure I'll be seeing you again," He leaned in again and planted a small kiss on what would've been her lips if she hadn't turned her head; instead, it turned out to be a peck on her cheek. "Commander Shelly."

She raised an eyebrow, "Oh, so you knew?" Hm, so _that_ was it? Gathering her wits, Shelly simply threw a, "Then I'm leaving, Commander." And stalked off, cursing her stupidity in her mind.

Tabitha stared after her, eyes narrowed. It always paid to do your research–it was only a damn shame she was working for Team Aqua, what a waste. She would have made a perfect Magma Co-Commander.

X X

Damn shame that this would never happen.


	6. UlteriorShipping: Steven Stone x Paul

**Pairing: **UlteriorShipping–Steven Stone x Paul

x x

He winced as the older man pushed him back against one of his oh-so-precious display cases–ahh, a little _too_ hard. Paul let out a small, ever-so-slight gasp; no sooner than he did, the Champion's anxious mouth quickly devoured his own. The trainer tried to turn his head, but Steven's hand, snaking up with deft accuracy, grasped Paul's chin, keeping him from breaking away.

So, with childlike obedience, he accepted his kiss; he even allowed himself to join in (ya know, 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.'), pressing back against those demanding lips, tilting his head over so slightly, allowing himself to get caught up in the moment–just forget everything else.

He slowly wrapped his fingers around that red neckerchief, pulling Steven down closer to him. Hm yes...nothing else mattered; nothing but him and Steven, him and the Champion, him and the strongest trainer in all of Hoenn...

...hm.

Paul drew away somewhat–his parted lips only a mere few centimeters away and, with his eyes still closed, he murmured: "You'll let me win, won't you..."

It wasn't a question, more of a statement, and Steven (with such mastery) took it in stride, "Of course not," He muttered back, opening his own eyes just a tiny bit. "You'll have to win it just like all the rest. You will receive no special treatment."

"Really...but I _am_ special. You said it yourself," Paul countered, though his voice was still soft, his tone held an edge. "I can't lose again, I'm _not_ going to lose again."

Steven pulled away and stared at him. "It was your defeat in Kanto and Johto that pushed you to do so well in Hoenn." He reminded, crossing his arms. His eyes drifted off to the display case behind him, "You've gone through the preliminary rounds, I'm sure you will defeat the other trainers with ease..." It wasn't noticeable, but the Champion grimaced–he was favoring him again, even if it was only minimal. It was wrong...

"Oh, I know I will." And there was that smug, overly confident look on Paul's face again. How much Steven wanted to wipe it off. "It's just the final four I'm worried about..." He drew closer, placing both of his hands on the other's chest. "And their leader..."

That look he was getting (so sexy, so hot) almost crumpled his adamant resolve. _Almost_. "Their leader who you will be getting no such help from." Steven answered back, his voice stern and unwavering. "If you want to win so badly, then I suggest going to train. You have a few more hours–take use of it, don't waste it."

And the Champion turned on his heels and headed straight for his desk–clearly dismissing the trainer. Paul watched with narrowed, sinister eyes; apparently _Quid pro Quo_ meant _nothing_ to this man.

Steven sat down on his chair and immediately went for his drawer, pulling out a manila folder. "You should go," He suggested, without even bothering to look up. "Stop wasting time."

There was a short silence. "...I need your help, Steven."

"No you don't. You're perfectly capable of dealing without me." A pause. "And it's _Champion_, Paul."

"...Oh, so _that's_ how it is."

"Yeah. And that's how it's _going_ to be."

A small growl escaped from the trainer's lips. "Screw you, then." He replied, his voice low. "I don't _need_ your fucking help. I can win it without you., _Champion_."

"And that's how it should be..." But his words went unheeded–not a few seconds later, the sound of the door opening and slamming filled the small office.

"...sorry."


	7. ClingyShipping: Damion x Lucas

**Pairing: **ClingyShipping–Damion x Lucas  
**Remember: **Lucas is the hero you can be in D/P while Damion (also known as Pearl) is your blond-haired rival.**  
A/N: **I'm going off the characterizations from the game, not the manga, since I haven't read it. Either way, I bet'cha Damion is so off. Ah yes, new rule, after not paying attention to the word count, chapters will now range from 100-1000. XD;

x x

Lucas was currently chilling upstairs in his bedroom, looking at the awesomeness in his hands. He was pretty damn happy; in the Pokeball was Blaziken, which he'd gotten from his friend, Brendan, in Hoenn.

"Thank-you, Pal Park!" He cheered to himself, kissing the ball before sitting down on the edge of his bed. From what he'd remembered, Brendan's Blaziken was one of the most kick-ass Fire types he'd _ever_ seen; it was just freakin' awesome that he was now its owner.

The tranquility in lil' ol' Sandgem Town was soon to be interrupted, however. The glass of water that had been set on Lucas' desk began to tremble, which only meant one thing...

With a look of horror, the trainer's head turned to his bedroom door, which had started to shake uncontrollably (_Well **someone** is experimenting with Earthquake–_He would have thought that if he hadn't been so afraid).

"_**Lucas!**_" Came an enraged voice, accompanied with angry footfalls on his staircase. Oh Arceus, hopefully his little sister hadn't gotten in the way...

Within a few seconds, in came Damion, crashing through his best friend's door. His face was pure fiery rage; _he kinda resembles his Infernape_, Lucas thought in amusement to himself. His amusement soon dissipated, though, when the blond pointed an accusing finger at him.

"You...you...you!" Damion had a habit of not finishing his sentences. With a cry of anger, he rushed forward; as luck would have it, he tripped over (of course) Lucas' backpack, and flew right into the other trainer.

Before Lucas had time to react, Damion slammed right into him and they both tumbled back onto his bed. ...Apparently the blond had _wanted_ that to happen, because now he was pining his friend down with a (brief) look of triumph plastered over his face.

"How _dare_ you!" He growled, "How could you do that to me?"

Lucas stared incredulously up at him, "How dare I what?" He asked, still kind of dazed. Really, it wasn't like Damion was _light_ or anything.

The other trainer narrowed his eyes, "One word: Pal. Park."

Actually, that was two words, but it was in his best interest not to correct him. "Yeah, yeah? What about it?"

"You beat my score!" Damion cried, playfully slapping him across the face. How one playfully bitch-slaps someone shall forever remain a mystery.

After the words sunk in, he let out a relieved sigh. "That's it? I thought I'd done something to piss you off..."

"You _did_ do something!"

"Something serious..."

"This _is _serious! 2000, that was the _record_, man! And then you up and go beat it. That isn't fair." The trainer continued to whine, letting go of Lucas as he pretended to reel around uncontrollably.

Lucas took this moment of momentary free-movement and sat up, startling Damion. The clumsy fool tipped backwards and would've smashed the back of his skull on the floor if his friend hadn't responded quickly, wrapping both arms around the blond's waist.

"That just isn't cool, man." He continued, as if him having a concussion hadn't been an imminent threat just a few seconds before. Damion slumped forward, putting one arm around Lucas' shoulder and started his fake, melodramatic crying.

"What are you two doing?" Came an amused voice from the doorway. While Damion didn't bother removing his face from the nook of his friend's neck, Lucas turned his head and saw Dawn standing there, his little sister by her side.

"Dawn..." Damion started, waving at her with his free hand. "This guy over here totally destroyed my Pal Park score of 2000."

Lucas simply rolled his eyes, "I only beat him by 100..."

Dawn just stared at them before she leaned forward some, a large sneer playing on her face. "I got 3000. Looks like I beat _both_ of you guys. In your face...es. _Faces_!"

"Way to go, Dawn!" His little sister cheered, jumping up and down.

Damion groaned, "Oh leave us alone..."

"Yeah, yeah," Dawn turned, taking hold of the little girl's hand. "I can see that you two are having a _moment_, I'll see ya'll later tonight. There's a swarm of Beldum I have to go and capture." With that said, she slipped away. Kinda like a ninja in a mini-dress.

When he was sure they were alone, Lucas muttered, "You know what we should do?"

"Mmm?" Which one could only assume meant 'And what is that?', since Damion was so preoccupied with lightly sucking the skin on the trainer's neck.

Lucas sucked in a short breath, "We should go call up our friends and tell them to trade us Pokemon from their region. Then we can show up Dawn."

"Agreed. But she's not important right now."

"...At least let me get the door..."

"Let me think about that." There was a pause. "Hm...nah."

"How about I do it." That wasn't a question. Like a ninja, Dawn reappeared just when Damion had shoved Lucas backwards. She gave the two teens a look of mock-disgust. "Honestly, you guys. Especially when a little girl can come popping in at any moment." She grasped the doorknob and started to pull it shut.

Damion snorted, "Dawn's just jealous because she can't join in on the fun."

Just before the door closed, a hand slipped through and gave them the finger.

"And that's _exactly_ what I'm going to do t-"

"Oh _please_ be quiet." Both Dawn and Lucas whined at the same time.

"...What? I was just gonna say I was going to screw up her Pal Park score..."


	8. IgnitionShipping: Flint x Volkner

**Shipping: **IgnitionShipping–Flint x Volkner  
**Remember:** Flint, Elite Four. Not Brock's dad.  
**A/N:** Oh snap! Three slash chapters in a row. Must work on het and femslash. XD

x x

He stood behind him, staring listlessly at the circuit board the gym leader was currently working on. "...You obviously fail at life..."

Volkner growled. "Shut the hell up." He responded, closing his eyes somewhat. "Hey, Infernape. I need more light, if you would...?"

Flint snorted and lifted his chin upwards, staring at the dark ceiling. "Infernape, you don't have to do anything he says, you know."

Infernape gave his master a confused look while Volkner gritted his teeth, "What did you say? Don't you want the power up and running A.S.A.P.?" He questioned, waving around the screwdriver and pliers in his hand quite dangerously. "D'you know how angry the people of Sunyshore will be if they found out I caused _another_ blackout?"

A hand reached up to scratch his red 'fro, "Pretty pissed, I can assure you."

"Exactly." Was Volkner's prideful response, "So Infernape, if you please?"

"But..." Infernape turned his head, and Volkner cursed inwardly; what kind of idiot did he have as a friend (slash lover)? Flint moved forward, setting both hands down on the other's shoulders and placed his mouth near his ear. "I wouldn't really mind some alone time with you. You know how much fun we could have in th-"

Before smooth buddy-boy could finish his horrible insinuation slash come-on, the lights flickered on, then off, and then back on. "Got it!" Volkner clenched his fist and grinned. "Thanks Infernape." Flint was completely ignored.

The Elite Four member covered his face, pulled away and exhaled loudly. How the hell did he get owned?

Volkner turned, flipping the pliers around in his hand. "Flint? Now what was that you were saying before? Sorry, I wasn't listening." But that smirk on his face said otherwise.

"Oh, I dunno," Flint shrugged before crossing his arms. "I think I was saying something about having my way with you, with or without your consent."

Well then, the blond completely blanched at that. "You...you're joking, right?"

"Seriously, man. I don't know." He took a big step forward, causing the younger man to press back against the wall. "If you really didn't hear what I said before, then...but if you did, I suggest you re-uncircuit those circuit boards. Right now."

Volkner rolled his eyes, "You're a poor, horrible man, Flint."

"I know. But you love that about me, right? Right. So..." He moved back, and took out his pokeball. "Infernape, return."

And that's when Volkner took his chance. With a triumphant yell, he broke to the right and sped away; he'd rather risk having his friend slash boyfriend pouting for the next few days than having the citizens of Sunyshore pissed at him.

Flint threw up his arms, "Dude, that ain't right!"


	9. InfraRedShipping: Mars x Dawn

**Shipping**: InfraRedShipping–Mars x Dawn  
**Remember**: Mars is one of the Team Galaxy's Commanders. And, yup, this is game Dawn, not anime Dawn.  
**A/N:** Thanks much for your reviews, guys. And, of course, the requests too. Just to be fair, they'll be answered in the order they were received, and each request will be written within a week's time (from your review). Onward and upward.  
This is actually one of two InfraRed I wrote, the other one will prolly be put up later.

x x

"Hohoho, aren't _you_ a cute trainer?" The red-haired Commander questioned teasingly, her fingers playing against the steel bars as she cheerfully smiled down at the frustrated younger girl; she was quite a catch! Wasn't it her lucky day?

Dawn glowered up at her and promptly jumped to her feet, "You won't be calling me 'cute' once I kick your ass!" She threatened, waving a menacing hand, "You're just lucky this cell separates me from you. Now let me out, and give me back my Pokemon!"

Mars 'tut'ed' and wagged a finger, shaking her head. "Now, you should know that's not how it goes. What things has television been poisoning your mind with? Heros–well, I guess in your case, 'heroines'–don't always get what they want."

"What-_ever_," The girl responded in a way that mimicked an overly pampered, pompous ass. "But I swear, old lady, once I get out of this place, I'm..."

Mars stopped listening to Dawn after _those_ words were uttered. Old lady? _Old _lady? Where the hell did she get that? She was only in her early twenties! Whipping her head, she glared the other down. "What the hell did you just call me? Old?! I'm, like, only five years older than you!"

Dawn shrunk back slightly–what was with her change of attitude? But...she could use this to her advantage. And really, Mars was _not_ fifteen; looks like Dawn wasn't the only one misinterpreting ages. "So you say, but there's no way for you to prove that." The trainer baited as she pressed her face against the bars, sticking her tongue out. "You remind me of my grandma. Come to think of it, I bet'choo kiss like her too."

That tore it. After looking down the dark hallway to the left, and then off to the right (which happened to be a dead-end), Mars slipped a hand into her front pocket and pulled out a card-key. Grumbling to herself, she dashed over to the entrance of the cell, shoved it into the slot and pushed. Dawn jumped at least a few inches when the door flew open, at an incredibly fast pace too, thanks to that pimp-kick it'd been rewarded with.

Dawn took a few–no, scratch that–_many_ steps back as the furious Commander stomped towards her, her red eyes looking as sinister as (please insert clever Pokemon comparison here) under the dim lighting. Aw snap, her mom always told her she had a big, fat, pretentious mouth. Sadly, she never really cared what her mom thought.

A hand shot out and grabbed her shoulder, to which the blue-haired trainer let out a little "Eek!".

"I'll show you who kisses like your grandma, you brat." Mars grumbled before she bent lower, pressing her lips against Dawn's. The younger girl let out a surprised squeak and turned her head away. Or at least she tried to...or maybe she didn't even try at all. Either way, a minute...two minutes...five minutes managed to swing on by before the kiss was broken.

Mars simply snorted at Dawn's flushed face, while said trainer was busy catching her breath. "Geez, you're acting as if you've never been kissed before." She then erupted into a little fit of giggles, "That didn't even last a minute, and look at you!"

What the hell? Not even a minute? Dawn quickly glanced down at her Poketch and plainly gawked at it. Her timer was _always_ running, damn it! It _was_ really only 53 seconds!

"When the heck did you even start it?"

That question was ignored because only more questions would arise from the answer.

Mars looked off to the side and then ran out of the cell, slammed the door shut and locked it. After clearing her throat, she stood up straight and started walking back and forth, as if she was guarding Dawn's cell.

Not a few seconds afterwards, an older woman with purple hair appeared. She stared suspiciously at her fellow team member. "What did you do now?"

Mars snickered, "Oh nothing!" She replied, extending the last syllable in 'nothing'.

Jupiter just scoffed. "That's nice. The Boss wants to see us, so I came down to get you."

"Really? So who's gonna be watching her cell?"

"I found a grunt off-duty to do that." At her words, a stereotypical looking Galactic grunt drifted from the shadows. "You! Measly pawn, guard the entrance! And you, Mars! Let's go." She grabbed the other's hand and started to haul her off.

Mars, reluctantly, followed. But not before throwing a, "How's that for Granny kisses?" back at the still blushing Dawn.

"What's that?" Jupiter questioned.

"Oh _nothing_!"

Galactic Grunt remained in the dark area to guard the entrance. But he had an IQ of, like, 35, so Dawn easily tricked him into letting her out. So now, Team Galactic had a pre-teen Pokemon Trainer wearing a dress that violated school dress-codes everywhere running around their HQ.

Of course, upon hearing the news, Mars couldn't have been more happy. Sadly, she was stuck in a staring contest against Staturn's Toxicroak.

Sucks to be her.


	10. PokeShipping: Ash x Misty

**Shipping: **PokeShipping–Ash x Misty  
**A/N:** Going old-school.

x x

Misty laid back on the couch, letting out an exhausted sigh as her eyes closed. She raised a hand and slowly ran her fingers through her red hair. Her blue eyes opened slightly, "Won't be long now..." The gym-leader muttered absentmindedly, staring straight ahead of her.

A small chuckle reached her ears, "Hah, Mist...didn't I tell you to stop talking to yourself?" She didn't even have to turn to know who said that. "People'll start thinking you're crazy or somethin'." And just like the juvenile adult he was, the current Champion of the Kanto League placed a hand on the inexpensive piece of furniture and jumped over it.

Ash overshot his landing, which was typical, and ended up writhing on the ground, complaining about his 'ass being broken'. Misty just snorted and swung an arm behind the back of the couch.

"Aww," She cooed, narrowing her eyes, "But I like your flat ass."

Ash simply snarled up at her before climbing back up to her side.

"Besides, people already think I'm crazy for being engaged to _you_, so it's nothing new." Misty continued, tilting her head so she could get a better look at him.

He leaned closer, slipping one arm across her stomach and another behind her back (Damn, that was hard to do. How much pounds did she gain in the past week?). "And when have _we_ ever cared what others think about us?" Ash murmured, laying his head down on her belly.

She bit her lip and looked around his room, "You're the one who brought it up..." Misty answered back, her voice low.

"Somethin' wrong?"

Misty was never one to mince words, "We can't stay here when the baby's born, y'know?" She asked, laying her head back. "We can't keep living off your mom...or my sisters, for that matter."

"Ahh. You always bring this up," He grumbled, peeling the orange sweatshirt Misty had been wearing back. "I'm Kanto League Champion," Ash went on, planting a small kiss on her belly, "We can find another place with snap of my fingers."

"So why haven't we found an-"

"No need to worry, Misty."

The gym leader simply groaned and raised a hand, smacking her fiancé's back...hard. "'No need to worry'...and _that's_ when I worry the most."

"Haha, that reminds me of Dawn!"

There was a moment of silence. Misty's face was completely pale and Ash started coughing uncontrollably.

"Ash, dear," She whispered, looking down at him. "W-was...did your Sinnoh Hat just...just say something?"

Suddenly rising to his feet, Ash took his lover's hand and they both started to edge slowly, but surely, out of his room.

X X

Totally killed it.


	11. BlueBirdShipping: Lugia x Articuno

**Shipping**: BlueBirdShipping–Lugia x Articuno  
**Remember**: Takes place during the aftermath of Pokemon the Movie 2000.  
**A/N:** -face palms- I'm stopping the humor for a while after this. We need more angst, that's for sure. And I just remembered Articuno was already down before Lugia's attack. -coughs- Let's just pretend it was Zapdos. Another BTW, I love Ho-Oh. It's win.

x x

At this very moment in time, Lugia wished it could just go back and be the 'Beast of The Sea' again. But no, that didn't look like it was going to happen any time soon. It lowered its head in shame, "Articuno...I'm sorry."

"Sorry nothing!" The Ice Titan squawked back in its own language, anger radiating from its deep blue eyes. "I haven't seen you in so long, and look what you do!" Its beautiful blue wings raised up, showing the deep singes on a couple of its feathers.

Lugia cringed; okay, maybe that Aeroblast was a little _too_ strong. "But you must understand..." It turned its head away, staring listlessly at the dark cave walls. "It was not meant for you...I...it was the human..."

"Leave me be. I must wallow in my self-pity now..." Articuno growled, turning away again.

Tentatively, Lugia took a step forward–a Pokemon of its size taking a step forward was no little tremor. Articuno shuffled away a little, before twisting its head in a weird angle, glaring at its master.

...But, damn it, Lugia _was_ the Beast of the Sea! It was the _master_ of the Winged Mirages, and it'd be damned if it started acting like that sissy Ho-Oh. So it took another step, and then another, and then a giant step forward; it only stopped when it was a few, small inches away from its friend.

"Articuno..." Lugia murmured, "I am truly sorry...please forgive me. I know our reunion wasn't quite as expected, but...well, if you three hadn't been fighting..."

Articuno's head re-twisted into another strange angle (it was acting like an owl now) and glowered. "Oh, so now it's _our_ fault?"

Lugia simply stared, "Of course. You three were fighting. Besides, when I used Aeroblast...it was you and Moltres battling each other. Zapdos was no where to be found..."

"Moltres is a bitch."

Its master merely sighed inwardly. "Yes, I agree," It relented, mentally shaking its head. "Moltres is a bitch."

"And Zapdos is an ass."

"Indeed. Now forgive me, Articuno. You must be sweet to me..."

"I am your favorite; if you say that, you can come here, and I shall always be sweet to you."

Why did Lugia feel like it'd read this somewhere before? But, again, it relented. "You are my favorite," It murmured, moving its face closer so it could nuzzle Articuno's neck. "Moltres is a bitch, and Zapdos is an incompetent ass."

Articuno sneered, "You have to say that in front of the others."

"...The others?"

"Yes, yes. So now, master, follow me. I must rub this in Moltres' and Zapdos' fat faces."

Lugia sighed, but it had no other choice.

And somewhere, high above the clouds, Ho-Oh was laughing its ass off.

X X

'Be sweet to me' line is totally credited to _The Other Boleyn Girl_. Totally jacked it.


	12. ImageShipping: Misty x May

**Shipping: **ImageShipping–Misty x May

x x

She wasn't as bad as she'd first thought. Sure, Misty still had her doubts about whether or not May was supposed to be her replacement, but other than that...the coordinator was alright.

The girl also got plus points for loving shopping almost as much as she did. _Almost_, that had to be stressed. Only Jessie matched Misty's love of shopping.

_Hm...well, I guess she also gets points for saving me back at Mirage Island. _The water trainer mused to herself, nodding her head. But there was one thing about that girl that Misty did _not_ like.

Pulling down her over-sized sunglasses, the redhead scanned the beach. There was Ash, playing around with Pikachu and Corphish. Brock was flirting with some random girls–_Typical_–and there was Team Rocket, trying their hardest to be discrete. Yeah, like she couldn't tell it was them selling Ice Cream Sundaes to the little kids.

There was Max, trying to do...something to that Munchlax. If _he_ was there, then...

"Hey Misty!" A cheerful voice called out.

Said trainer turned her head and instantly spotted the source. Misty gritted her teeth and tried her hardest to look away. **Hah**, so not happening. So, instead, she discreetly pushed her eight-sizes-too-big sunglasses back up the bridge of her noes.

_Stop running like that. Stop. Running! _Misty screamed in her mind, watching attentively as the pre-teen coordinator bounded up to her. Maybe she was imagining it, but Misty could swear that a trail of drool was seeping out of her own mouth right now.

Hm, hm, hm, did she look fine in that bright red bikini. And it looks like someone had just finished taking a dip in the sea–wait, ocean. Dip in the ocean. Misty grinned somewhat to herself and leaned to the left, causing her beach chair to tip slightly. _Stop being so **lame**, you stupid chair!_

"Hey May." She answered back casually, as if 'Hormonal Turmoil, episode 12' wasn't happening inside her body right now. "What brings you here?"

May stopped once she reached Misty's side and knelt down, placing both hands on the arm of the chair. "Just wanted to see what you're doing." She responded, moving her face closer. "You like water, right? So why aren't you playing around with us?"

Misty stared back at her, _Cause, ya'know, if I was with you guys, I'd probably end up raping you_. "Ah, just taking a break."

She moved in closer, and a sneer appeared on her face. "Liar. I know why."

"Hm? Really now?" _Yeah right. Here it comes..._

"It's 'cuz of Ash, isn't it? Or maybe it's the fact that Team Rocket is obviously ten feet away from us, staring at Pikachu's ass." May sighed, "They think we're _that_ stupid."

Misty shook her head before sitting back, "Nah, that's not it."

"Then what...?"

_Be casual now, Misty. _"Are you comfortable wearing that, May?" The Cerulean gym leader faced her yet again.

May shot her a confused look, "Wearing what? My bikini? Yeah...why?"

Misty lifted a hand up and–with such cleverness that only Misty could possess–snaked her hand to May's back, took hold of one string of her top and pulled. An even larger grin appeared on her face when the chestnut-haired girl drew back, startled, thus causing her bikini top to fall off.

"Haha!" Misty giggled, moving away as she covered her mouth. But, of course, this was only another discrete (and clever) move on her part: now May wouldn't be able to tell whether or not she was _actually_ staring.

May simply gazed at her, which was just plain odd. Wasn't she supposed to shriek and cover herself up or slap Misty in the face or something? So Misty just stared back–sad thing was, though: her eyes kept drifting downward.

"MY EYES!" Ash screamed randomly.

"Listen! Is that an annoying twerpy voice that I hear?"

"It's shrieking to me, loud and clear!"

"You idiots! Dat's da wrong motto! Dis is Kanto, not Sinnoh!"

But the two girls ignored the commotion that was going on behind them. Instead, May moved in closer again, her eyes half-closed in suspicion. "Oh, I think I get it now..."

Misty nodded her head once, "Took you long enough, lil' girl. I thought I'd have to sing a _Misty's Love Song_ tonight, or something. And then you'll be all like 'Did you say somethin', Misty?' then I'd say 'No, no May, you're just hearing things! Night, sweet dreams!'. Now, are you gonna put your top back on, or...?"

Both of May's hands suddenly rose, and she used both pointer fingers and thumbs to create a small box. "Next time, on May's Amazing Adventure, Misty, the Cerulean Gym Leader admits to the beautiful, coordinator May that she's jealous of her figure! Ehehehe!" Straightaway, she stood and skirted off.

"Yeah, yea–wait, what?!" Misty roared, jumping to her feet. Kicking her chair out of her way, she took one lunge forward and...

Landed on top of something. Apparently Lil' Miss Sexy Coordinator forgot the rest of her swimsuit. A large, malicious smile soon tugged at Misty's lips as she picked it up. "Oh Maaay..." She called, rushing after her.

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all peoples withi-"

"WRONG. MOTTO." Max, Meowth, Ash, Brock and fifteen other people screamed.

X X

Complete and utter head to my desk right here.


	13. TwinLeafShipping: Dawn x Damion

**Shipping:** TwinLeafShipping–Dawn x Damion  
**Remember:** Actually...I really like the song Pokemon Go!.

x x

"_Yo! Pokemon masters, your heart beats faster. Training for the top, 'cause you know you can't stop! Your training kicks **now**, Pokemon pow**wow**; the power of a master, all before you will** bow**_!"

Damion groaned, "Stop singing that song already!" He begged, covering his face.

Giggling behind him, Dawn squeezed her friend closer, allowing his back to rest on her chest. "Aww, c'mon! You know you love it."

"I've got to admit, it _is_ annoying."

"Shut the hell up, Lucas." The trainer retorted, without looking at him. "_But don't let it get to your head, young trainer. The road is long and filled with danger_."

Both Damion and Lucas continued to suffer the wrath of Dawn's singing; it wasn't 'til she got to 'First you kick it in Kanto', did they both decide to take immediate action. Because, everyone knows that part of the song was just annoying as hell.

Lucas took off his hat, shoved his face into it and began to roll down the grassy hill (into the sunset), intent on getting away before that song was stuck in his head. Damion took less drastic measures (because he was smart): he wriggled out of Dawn's hold, turned around, grabbed both of her shoulders and pushed her backwards.

She grinned up at him, "_Watch out, next stop might be Hoenn. But even that's not where Pokemon'll end. There's even more adventures-_"

He leaned in. Evidently, some _other_ adventures were going to happen. Damion made sure of it.

When Lucas made his way back up the hill, he ended up stumbling on the (certainly) intriguing sight. He hunched over, fell down onto the ground and started rolling around with laughter. Sadly, it was cut short when one of Dawn's hair clips connected with his left eye. "Damn you, Damion. You guys always make-out whenever I leave for, like, four minutes!"

And no one really cared.


	14. SacredShipping: Morty x Eusine

**Shipping**: SacredShipping–Morty x Eusine  
**Remember**: Morty is the Johto Ghost Gym Leader in Ecruteak City, Eusine...he likes Suicune very much. Kris is the female Crystal heroine, and Gold is the GS hero.  
**A/N**: I'm mixing the game and the Pokemon Chronicle's Episode together. I also lied, more humor.

x x

"You're gonna do what now?" Kris asked again, poking Gold's back.

He slapped her hand away and continued sneaking around the gym, looking about carefully. "You heard me." He muttered, tiptoing forward. "I have to apologize to him."

Kris followed behind him, "Why?" She whispered loudly, causing the other to 'shush' her.

"Because. ...He seemed so pissed when I told him that I saw Suicune."

"How is that your problem?"

"Can you stop talking so loud?"

Kris simply ignored that. "I think that's Morty's room right there," She said instead, pointing down the menacing looking hallway. Talk about scary Ghost gyms. "We can ask him if he knows where Eusine is."

Gold nodded. "Why are you even following me?"

"'Cause I like being with you?" She responded, rolling her eyes. "Who cares? You'll probably end up screwing everything up without me."

The duo didn't say another word to each other as they neared Morty's room. Pressing himself up against the wall, Gold reached out and pulled the door open slightly–just slightly–and looked in...

Gold's head exploded–figuratively. In absolute silence, he turned on his heels and slowly walked away. Kris, completely intrigued by her buddy's frightened face, took a peek inside herself...

And the hidden fangirl within her squealed with delight. It was such a beautiful sight that she wished she had a camera with her. A single tear trailed down Kris' elated face and she sniffed with appreciation.

But suddenly, a soft hand wrapped around her wrist and tugged at her to follow. It was Gold, obviously. The two walked through the hallway, out to the main hall and then exited the gym altogether.

"Hey, lame-o." Silver, who apparently just showed up right now, greeted.

Gold ignored him, which gave his rival a total myocardial infarction.

"It must be one of their kinks: total silence!" Kris squeaked, jumping up and down. "And I always thought Morty would be the one on top...hm, guess I was wrong."

Gold fell to the ground (right next to Silver), curled up in a ball and died–figuratively. Silver fainted also, because he'd been totally ignored. Kris, on the other hand, kept replaying the scene over and over again in her head.

"Extreme _hotness_."


	15. RocketShipping: James x Jessie

**Shipping: **(Barely) RocketShipping–James x Jessie_  
_**A/N: **'Kay, I lied. ClumsyShipping was supposed to be up next, but I made a promise. Thanks for all the reviews, requests and support, guys. -coughs- And I'll make another RocketShipping chapter later on.

x x

Meowth stared at his teammates with a look of utter disgust and extreme bewilderment. Now, anyone can be assured that _that_ was an ugly look. "What are you guys gonna do?" He asked, leaving his mouth hanging wide open.

James giggled in that oh-so-girly way of his and Jessie snickered to herself.

"It's a brilliant plan–we'll get Pikachu for sure!"

"That's right, Jessie. Any minute now, those twerps will be arriving at that city, and we'll catch them before they go inside."

"What city?" Meowth questioned, complete confused.

Of course that question was not answered, because, at this moment in time, both Jessie and James had no idea where the hell they were. All they knew was that their 'Twerp Senses' were tingling, and so those three brats would be showing up sometime soon.

And sure enough, the trio appeared at that very moment. By the looks of it, Dawn and Ash were arguing, while Brock was looking at a magazine. With grins spreading across their faces, both Rocket members rushed out of the bushes and sprinted towards them. Meowth didn't follow because he was not included in this plan.

Ash scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Dawn, you look exactly the same as you did this morning. I don't know why you're even buggin' about how I didn't notice your hair-cut."

"Since when do you use 'buggin', Ash?" Brock muttered without looking up from his magazine.

"Since we saw that new bug Pokemon," He answered back, turning to face his long-time friend. "I felt like using a pun. ...Are you looking at porn?"

Dawn clenched her fist and began jumping up and down, "What are you talking about, Ash Ketchum?!" She yelled, shaking her head. "My hair is a whole seven inches shorter! It's neck-length now, and you didn't even realize that?!"

"Haha! Listen, is that a whiney-bratty...whiney voice I hear?"

"It's whining to me, loud and clear!"

Jessie and James cartwheeled in front of the trainer-coordinator-breeder trio and assumed their 'T R' pose.

"It's Team Rocket!" Everything was forgotten, and both Ash and Dawn took their 'battle-ready' stances.

"You won't be getting Pikachu from me!"

"Actually, yeah they will." Called Paul, who was about 6 feet away. "They always do, because you're all **lame-o's**."

"Oh shut-up, Paul." Ash grumbled, turning away. But Paul just appeared right in front of him in under three seconds. "How the heck did you get here so fast?"

"Because my awesome-aura carried me here. Either that, or it's because you're a **lame-o**. Either one works."

"Who says 'lame-o' anymore?"

Paul immediately bitch-slapped Dawn to the ground for questioning him.

While the others were bitchin', Jessie and James snuck closer, closer...closer... "Aha!" With purple rubber-gloves, James reached forward and snatched Pikachu off Ash's shoulder. "And now for the finishing touches! Meowth!"

With a huge heave, James tossed the electric-mouse over to their third-wheel companion, who was holding a small, rubber containment box. For the sake of moving the plot along, Pikachu landed square inside, and Meowth instantly shut it. "Okay, guys, I got Pikachu. Now let's get goin'!"

"Oh no, Pikachu!"

Paul snorted, "I knew it. You're so la-" Before he could finish, Dawn's Piplup started to peck at his head. "Ow, ow, ow!"

"It's showtime." Jessie said, copying Brawl!Solid Snake. Turning to face each other, James reached out and pulled his friend closer. They stared into each other's eyes for a good three seconds before their faces slowly shortened the already small distance between them. And then...

And then they started to suck face. Like, extreme sucking-face (which, in itself, is already extreme): tongues, teeth, heavy breathing, PDA to the max, roaming hands and all that, everything that would scare two (obviously in-love) Pokemon trainers, one Coordinator and the third-wheel cat Pokemon who had an accent that got stronger every time he made an appearance. Brock, however, was watching the two intently and took some notes.

By the time the two were done kissing and groping each other's ass, Ash and friends were completely incapacitated. Actually, Paul wasn't Ash's friend, which would explain why he was still at least 50 percent OK. But when he noticed that thick string of saliva connecting Jessie's lips to James', he turned on his heels and ran off; sadly, he didn't get very far. He tripped on Dawn's face and landed on his so-called 'rival'.

"Ingenious! Now we have Pikachu all to ourselves!"

With an overly gleeful laugh, both ran towards Meowth, picked up the expensive rubber box and skipped off into the sunset. About a mile down, a man standing at the side of the road called over the James.

"Hey, you! Yeah, you! You look like a smart man who knows where the good things are at. Right here, I got a magical Magikarp. See, this Magikarp's aroma calls all legendary Pokemon to it. Now, for you, you smart sexy man, I'll make it cheap: only 100 bucks! If you don't have 100 bucks, how about that Pikachu in there?"

The rest of the story needs not to be told.

X X

Lame chapter is lame. Sorry, but I needed an update. Hohoho.


	16. ClumsyShipping: Maylene x Damion

**Shipping:** ClumsyShipping–Maylene x Damion  
**A/N:** I'm off my unintended, unofficial, no-one-cares hiatus. Yes sir.  
**Remember:** Maylene is the Veilstone Gym Leader.

x x

_"...OK. You win. That was a tough loss. I learned a lot from it. Please, accept this Gym Badge." _

What a shame. Maylene breathed out heavily and dropped herself down on the green mats, closing her eyes. She should've asked him to stay for a little while and not had said that rehearsed BS that came out of her mouth; darn her nerves. Then again, he probably would've declined, seeing how he seemed to be in a hurry.

"Aw well." Maylene stood again and brought the accessory in her hands closer to her face. "Good thing he forgot his scarf. At least I'll have something to remember-"

Just then, the cup of milk that was settled by her feet began to shake. She stared down at it, confused. ...and now that rumbling was getting louder, and more violent...

Suddenly, someone burst through the gym doors and a cloud of dust came rushing straight at her. Oh, wait a minute, that wasn't a cloud of dust...it was...

"Damion!" She screamed, completely frightened by the ultra-serious look in his eyes. "Uh...well, great to see that you came back. Hey, would you mind...eh?"

Without saying a word, he skidded to a stop, snatched the scarf from her hands and ran off. "Thanks for holding it for me!" He called back before he tripped and flew outside.

Maylene silently cursed to herself, while her Lucario was snickering in the corner.

"Shut-up, Lucario! I'll just get him next time..."


	17. FunnyHairColorShipping: Brendan x Drew

**Shipping:** FunnyHairColorShipping–Brendan x Drew  
**Remember:** Branny-boy is the male main character from RSE.

x x

They were _not_ amused. Despite what _some_ people thought, their hair color was _not_ funny. Sure, green was odd, and white was usually found on grandpas, but the two failed to realize what people found hilarious about their hair.

The oppressed duo glared down at May, since she was the one who'd started all this bullshit. She stared back at them, completely relaxed.

"I don't know what to say, boys," She shrugged and closed her eyes. "If you two fail to see the humor in it, then there's no point in telling you." Waving her hand once, May skipped off, leaving the two alone.

Brendan turned and stared at Drew for a _**very**_ long time. He lifted up his hand and began to pat the top of the other's head, "Hm, now that I think about it, the color is kinda...weird. And it throws off that scheme you got going with your clothes." He murmured, ruffling his hair a bit.

"Look who's talking," Drew growled, slapping Brendan's hand away. "That ridiculous green bandana on your head makes your hair look even more stupid. I liked the red and black better."

"Hm...I think I left it in your room..."

The two continued to stare at each other and remained that way until May came back, holding three ice-cream cones. Brendan took the mint, Drew took the vanilla and May kept chocolate-chip for herself.

"We still don't get it, May." Brendan whined, licking his ice-cream.

"Shut-up. It's not that big a deal." She blinked a couple of times, looking from her rival to the other coordinator. And then May started to snicker to herself. "Oh, seeing you two together will never stop making me laugh."

Drew gritted his teeth, resisting the urge to toss his ice-cream in her face and Brendan simply ignored her. Just what the hell did she find so funny?

Well, the answer to that is simple...

X X

THERE IS NONE.


	18. PyrokineticShipper: Sabrina x Flannery

**Shipping: **PyrokineticShipper–Sabrina x Flannery

x x

"I fail to see what's so 'hot' about shoving your behind in someone's face." Sabrina cooly answered, gazing up at her flustered partner.

Flannery clenched her fist and began to grind her teeth. "It's called a lap-dance, Sabrina, and it's supposed to be sexy. And fun."

The Psychic gym-leader propped an elbow on the couch she was sitting on, "Well 'sexy' isn't working for you. And this isn't fun." She crossed her legs and turned her eyes elsewhere. "Besides, this song that's playing..."

"_The Thong Song_?"

"It's not working."

"Well, I have _Baby got Back_ if you want that instead."

And Sabrina laughed. She laughed _very, very hard_.


	19. AbandonShipping: Paul x Damien

**Shipping:** AbandonShipping–Paul x Damien  
**Remember:** Damien was Ash's Charmander's original trainer.

x x

The two were having the most interesting conversation ever: useless, 'lame-o' fire Pokemon. They both discussed how lame their fire Pokemon were, and how some bitch with black hair, a Pikachu and a talking hat was now taking care of them.

"I kinda miss mah Char-mun-dah." Damien said in that accent of his, stomping his cowboy boots against the wooden floor.

"Chimchar was shit." Paul took a sip from his Pepsi, "But it's apparently having nice times with Ash."

Damien's big, fat unwaxed eyebrows crinkled. "'Ash'? Did you just say 'Ash'?"

"D-d-did I s-s-stutter?" Douchebag asked.

Cowboy stood up and slammed both fists down on the table. "That was him! That was the bitch who took my Char-mun-dah!"

Paul, who was in the process of drinking his Pepsi, slowly raised his eyes and glared at him. "D...Did you just call Ash a 'bitch'?" He asked, slowly standing up from his seat. "No one calls Ash a bitch but me."

"B-but, he took Char-mun-dah-"

"Damn it, it's _Char-man-**der**_. It's one fucking word. Stop adding unnecessary syllables."

"Actually, it's three syllables."

That obviously right statement was ignored. Paul grabbed the table, lifted it up and pushed it aside (which took about three minutes). Then he walked over to Damien, after wasting all of his time lifting the table, and bitch slapped him half-way across the Pokemon Center.

Koji, the boy from Johto who wanted Cyndaquil, came in at that exact same moment and watched Damien die (not literally). He spun around and quickly left the center; the only reason he'd come in the first place was to bitch about that Bitch.

But, apparently, that wasn't going to happen.


	20. ComaShipping: Paul x Ash

**Shipping: **ComaShipping–Paul x Ash  
**A/N: **Oh wow, I might end up with 100 reviews. Thanks a lot, you guys!

x x

Oh Arceus, this was _hilarious_. ...Well, it was a bit scary too, but hilarious nonetheless. Paul continued to gaze at him and clasped both of his hands together.

"Well then," He began, smiling ever-so slightly. "You know what I came for, dear. Chop chop." And, for an added effect, he clapped his hands and blew the other a kiss.

Ash glared down at his rival and readjusted his apron. Just his luck–of course asshole had to show up at the Maid Café. And it was also his luck that he was dressed in this ridiculous outfit.

Having his so-called 'rival' flirt with him, too, was an added in-your-face! bonus. ...if there had been a knife nearby, Ash would've plunged it straight into Paul's pretty little face.

"Actually, you're the one with a pretty face, _Ashley_." Paul said, tilting his head so he could rest his cheek in his palm.

...Apparently he could read minds. Ash, without saying another word, turned around and stomped off to find Spring.

And Paul watched him the whole time. More specifically, he watched the teen's ass (even though, really, he couldn't see anything because of that frilly dress). Sadly, Dawn walked in his line of vision, causing him to scowl.

He was ignored. But eh, didn't really matter, there was new eye-candy in town. Paul's eyes were now on the coordinator; mmyes, she looked good in that outfit too. For a ten-year-old, she had a nice figure...

"Just _what_ are you looking at, Paul?" Ash(ley) asked, flying over to him, silver platter in hand. "And here's your coffee."

"Bitch, I don't want _coffee_. Reggie drinks shit like that."

"Reggie...?"

Oh, that's right. Ash(ley) didn't know about his brother. "Never mind. Thanks anyway..." He reached forward and snatched at the cup. Paul gazed into it; now, what he really wanted was some hot cocoa.

Ash slid onto the bench across from him. "Why the hell are you here?"

Paul took a sip and instantly gagged. "This is nasty!" He cried, quickly descending into one of his tantrums. He threw the cup at Ash, "I'm not paying for that, Ashley! It's disgusting."

"It's _Ash_. And why the hell did you toss that at me? You got me wet!"

All bitching ceased immediately once those words were said. Paul fixed his eyes on him. He was wet...how convenient. And ironic.

Ash glowered, "Are you just going to sit there and look at me?" He asked, pointing a finger at him. "I'll tell Brock and Dawn what you did!"

Oooh, Paul was shivering in his nonexistent boots. Bull. And Ash was getting a little mouthy. "Feh, if you want me to help you clean up, then I'll help."

"Exactly." He slipped off the bench and stood up, "Okay, let's–ah, what the heck are y-you doing?" Ash stammered as Paul grabbed his arm and began to drag him off.

Paul just grinned, "I'm going to escort you, milday..." He answered back in a casual tone.

"B-but...would you stop treating me like a girl?"

"Stop whining."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"You bitch like a girl, d'you know that?"

"I'm _not_ a girl."

"Hm, really? But just before you said you were wet."

"Yes, because I _was_ wet. Now I'm sticky."

Paul wanted to throw himself into the wall. But, instead, he continued to drag his little Ashley along, looking for the bathroom.

"You're hurting my arm, do YOU know that?"

"Don't mock me."

"Then GTFO my arm."

"Ash, if you don't shut the hell up, I'm going to rape you."

There was a bit of silence.

"Really?"

"You're really pushing it, Ash."

"You really wouldn't do that to me, would you?"

"Sweet talk and making adorable faces doesn't work on me, Ashley. Say one more word, I dare you."

More silence. And this time, Paul really though Ash had STFU'd for good.

But, of course, he was wrong. Because once they stepped into the bathroom...

"I bet you wouldn't."

"Get your ass into that fucking stall. NOW."

"But!"

"**Now**."

"...alright."


	21. ArmaniShipping: Steven x Riley x Lucian

**Shipping: **ArmaniShipping–Steven Stone x Riley x Lucian  
**Remember: **Riley is that dude who looks like Sir Aaron in the games.  
**A/N: **And this pairing would be my OT3, if only I didn't love ComaKari so much. XD This is _extremely _OoC and stupid. And yes, I know they don't act like that. Hehe.

x x

The three handsome men walked down the city streets brimming with sheer hotness. Steven Stone, former Hoenn Champion, was up front. The rest of his posse, Lucian and Riley, flanked him from behind.

Lucian adjusted his _Dolce&Gabbana _glasses while Riley took out his _Ralph Lauren _wallet. Steven, checking his _DKNY_ watch, made sure his group wasn't late to the dry cleaners.

"You boys have your suits, right?" He asked, lifting up a _Fossil_ carrying bag (currently carrying his spare suit).

His boys nodded in unison.

"Good man." With a snap of his fingers, Steven pushed open the doors to the store. Inside, Sapphire was standing behind the service counter. She smiled at him and bowed her head a little.

"Ah Steven..." She greeted, grinning.

"Yes, hello Sapphire. We're here to have our Giorgio Armani suits dry cleaned."

Sapphire snorted, "Never would have guessed," Sarcasm was all over those words. But he let that slide. "Place 'em here, boys. I think they'll be done in a few hours. I'll put them in top priority."

"Be sure that you do." Lucian said, handing her his suit with extra care. Riley did the same, followed by Steven.

Then, with another snap of his fingers, the posse was off. And Sapphire just shook her head. After relinquishing his role as Champion, Steven had become more...more metro, for lack of a better term. Not that Sapphire _really_ minded–not with all that money coming her way. So she simply shrugged and went back to work.

The sound of Riley's _Ecco _shoes hitting the pavement was extremely loud. But his friends managed to ignore it, because their (insert fashion & designer shoe here) were also making a helluva lot of noise.

The three men, if they wanted to, could have been fashion models. They were asked to cast in a movie about male models, but the trio respectfully turned the offer down. Besides, they had to train their Pokemon AND look good at the same time. It wasn't all that easy.

They did _vogue_ on occasion, though.

Fingering his expensive rings, Steven stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and turned himself around. His _High Fashion_ senses had started to tingle. And he was right.

Walking towards them--dressed in all black clothes, with an expensive _Abercrombie_ scarf wrapped around her neck--was the Sinnoh Champion, Cynthia.

"Hey guys."

And they responded in unison, "Hello, Champion." And, since Steven was, obviously, the leader, he extended his hand and Cynthia accepted his request, taking his arm.

They began to walk to the nearest restaurant. This had been decided--at that very moment--by texting each other on their LG Prada, iPhone, BlackBerry and enV.

"How are you all doing?"

"Fashionable, as always." Riley said, saying his first words of this whole chapter. He brought a hand up to his neck and touched his 24 karat gold necklace. "I assume the same for you, Cynthia?"

"Of course. I just got some lingerie from _Victoria Secret_ for 500 dollars. And, for a total steal too, I got pantyhose: only 20 bucks. I'm only going to use it once, though."

"Fabulous!" That was Lucian. "And it seems that we have reached our destination."

Their 'destination' being a steakhouse restaurant. Being that they were famous, their waiter (who turned out to be Ruby) sat them down as soon as a table was open.

"What do you four want?" He brought out a pad and stared--long and hard--at Steven.

"I'll have a double cheeseburger."

Riley was next. After little thought, he announced his choice: "Steak, with steak fries and A1 Steak Sauce."

"Mashed potatoes and your finest turkey, please."

"I want some fried chicken." That...that was Lucian.

Ruby nodded, and, after more staring at Steven, walked off without even asking them what they wanted to drink.

"Such a good boy," Cynthia observed. "And I think he has a crush on someone. Hehehe."

"He is a good boy," The steel master looked down at his menu, "It's a shame that his fashion sense isn't as exquisite as our own."

"Yes, yes...such a shame." Riley tilted his head back and focused his eyes on the ceiling. "Hm...after this, do you guys want to go bother Lance?"

The only current Champion of the group beamed, "Oh yes, of course! We have to find him a new wardrobe. Capes are completely out of style."

"And that leather..." Steven scowled.

Lucian raised his hand, "Sorry, my fellows, but I will be unable to attend your Fashion policing. I have a prior engagement with Aaron."

"Quite alright, my boy. You can join us when we see my Wallace. He wants tips about how to do his hair."

"Ah yes, that I will be there for. What, with my superior hair styling skills. That would be _fabulous_."

Fabulous it would be, indeed. Just like they were.


End file.
